Love Well - Matthew 26:36-45 (Extreme Loss)
Grief shows up in every room—especially a church sanctuary. On any given Sunday, someone walks through the doors holding a weight no one else can see. And when we talk about grief and loss, we are stepping onto tender ground.
As JJ shared in her message, all of our emotions—fear, sadness, anger, numbness—are welcome in God’s presence. God can hold the fullness of our humanity. Tears aren’t a distraction; they’re often the most honest expression of what we feel.
Today’s conversation about grief centers around two stories: the unimaginable loss experienced by a dear family friend named Helen and the night Jesus spent weeping in the Garden of Gethsemane. Both stories point to the same truth: God meets us in our pain, and He invites us to meet one another in it, too.
Helen’s Story: Unthinkable Loss, Unimaginable Faith
On December 14, 1996, Helen’s world changed forever. Her husband, Bob, took their three boys—Philip (11), Patrick (9), and Ben (8)—duck hunting. It was something they loved doing together. But when they didn’t return home as expected, Helen’s concern grew into panic.
After phone calls, searching, and prayer, she received news no mother or wife should ever have to hear:
Bob and all three boys had died in a tragic accident on the lake.
How does someone recover from a loss like that?
How do you ever sing about God’s goodness again?
JJ’s honesty is refreshing: “God and I have wrestled.”
Loss that large demands wrestling.
But Helen’s story is not only a story of grief—it’s also a story of God’s presence, the compassion of others, and the slow, surprising restoration of joy.
Years later, God brought another widower, Jeff, into Helen’s life—someone who understood grief firsthand. Their relationship became part of Helen’s healing. And today, she continues to mark her loss each year with a small circle of friends who remember with her and celebrate the joy God has restored.
Her faith is deep. Her resilience is stunning. Her story reminds us that grief changes us, but it does not have the final word.
Jesus in the Garden: A God Who Understands Our Pain
To understand how we walk through grief, JJ brings us to a moment in Jesus’ life many of us skip past—the Garden of Gethsemane.
In Matthew 26, Jesus says something astonishing:
“I am deeply grieved to the point of death.”
This is Jesus—not stoic, not composed, not “holding it together”—but distressed, sorrowful, overwhelmed.
He prays a prayer that every grieving heart has prayed:
“Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me.”
Jesus asked God to change His circumstances.
He begged for another way.
And yet, He trusted God even when the answer was “no.”
This moment matters because:
1. Jesus gives us permission to be honest with God.
You can ask God to change your situation. Jesus did.
2. Jesus shows us that sorrow is not weakness.
The Son of God wept, trembled, and begged.
3. Jesus invites others into His grief.
He didn’t bring everyone—just a few trusted friends.
Grief is heavy, but it is less heavy when we carry it together.
The disciples didn’t handle it perfectly—they fell asleep. And that’s comforting, too. People won’t always show up the way we hope. But we keep trying, and we keep inviting one another in.
Grief in Our Own Lives: How the Church Shows Up
JJ shared from her own recent journey—a summer marked by a breast cancer scare, endless appointments, waiting rooms, and uncertainty. In those weeks, this church family showed her what it means to love well:
The prayer team lifted her and Currey up week by week.
Friends sat with them in the discomfort instead of offering quick answers.
Community members brought meals, treats, flowers, and encouragement.
Brittney, through her Pilates studio, provided a space where JJ felt strong when her body felt weak.
Presence, prayer, and practical love carried their family through uncertainty.
And when the test results came back clear, the same people who sat in the grief also celebrated the joy.
JJ reminded us:
We struggle to enter into grief, but we also struggle to enter into joy.
God calls us to both.
God Restores Joy—Not by Erasing Grief, But by Staying With Us In It
One of the most beautiful parts of Helen’s story is seeing her hold grief and joy at the same time. She still remembers her loss every year, but she also laughs freely with her husband Jeff today. She credits God’s mercy, Scripture, and the faithful presence of the church for helping her endure.
Her story has shaped JJ’s own family in a deeply personal way. JJ and Currey named their son Britten after Helen’s family name—not to memorialize tragedy, but to honor a legacy of faith that clings to God through every storm.
How Do We Love Well Through Grief?
As we move through our own seasons of life, most of us fall into one of two places:
1. You are grieving right now.
If so, ask yourself:
Who could I invite into this with me?
Your pain is not meant to be carried alone.
2. You are not currently grieving.
Then ask:
How can I use my time, talents, and treasures to support someone who is?
How can I be the person who sits, prays, listens, and shows up?
Grief is inevitable.
But so is God’s presence.
And the church—when we love well—becomes one of God’s greatest gifts in the middle of the hardest seasons.
If you’re in a season of sorrow, the prayer team is available. Let someone pray with you. Let someone hold up your arms when you feel weary.
We are not meant to carry grief alone.
We carry it with Christ.
And we carry it with one another.
